After many years of arranging successful surrogacy relationships, we know that one of the primary concerns that intended parents have beforehand is how they will be able to trust someone else to carry and deliver their child. Putting your faith in someone else to do something so significant is a considerable ask for anyone to take in. It should come as no surprise that one of the most fundamental aspects of any surrogacy arrangement is trust. It’s crucial that the foundations for trust and respect be laid down in the earliest stages of the process.
How To Build Trust In A Surrogacy Arrangement
Understand The Screening And Matching Processes
We know that many parents are relieved when they learn about the level of detail our agency pursues during the surrogate screening process. This process consists of multiple stages where we receive detailed information about every potential surrogate’s medical history, personal history, support system, and motivations. A psychological screening is completed as well to help ensure that every surrogate in our program understands and accepts her role in the family-building process. No one moves forward in our surrogacy program unless they meet the requirements for optimal physical, mental, and emotional health as confirmed by the fertility doctor and through psychological evaluations. Several interview stages with our Case Managers are also held as part of this process.
Just like the screening stage, the matching part of a surrogacy arrangement is also thorough. Once a potential match is in progress, we hold a joint conference with surrogates and intended parents where a series of questions are asked to confirm if all parties are on the same page per core aspects of a surrogacy arrangement. We’ll want to confirm things like, what frequency and methods of communication are considered acceptable for both parties, and what will be the agreed-upon plan in certain medical situations (e.g. multiple fetuses, pregnancy reduction, etc.). If answers to these questions are the same for both parties, then we wait to hear from all parties if they would like to proceed to match. A match will only be considered to be made if all parties are confidently in agreement, and agree to move forward together.
One thing we would never want an intended parent or surrogate to do is to bottle up something that they are worried about or struggling with. This is why it is so beneficial that communication rules are established during the matching phase. We know that everyone has different boundaries, and these should always be respected. We do know that situations can change and we are here as a guide to help keep everything moving ahead comfortably for all.
Consult With Your Case Manager
At Reproductive Possibilities, our team has the experience to support intended parents and their surrogates through every stage of the process. If there is ever a concern, your Case Manager will be available to discuss the issue and help work toward a resolution. Case Managers know how to balance the needs of both parties in a surrogacy arrangement. It is always essential that everyone feels heard and that their point of view is acknowledged. Your Case Manager is a strong part of this trifecta, to help everyone have the best journey possible.
Connect With Other Surrogacy Families
Talking with others who’ve already completed their surrogacy journeys is an excellent way to get a real feel for what the process is like. These individuals are also in a position to help answer any questions or concerns that arise as you prepare to start on your own journey.
Ultimately, for intended parents, your surrogacy journey will bring you to the next stage of your life: parenthood. Surrogacy is not without moments of stress, but this is an exciting time, and one that with communication and mutual respect, will bring a potential relationship unlike any other in your life.
If you have any questions about surrogacy, we encourage you to reach out to us at Reproductive Possibilities. We’ve guided many intended parents through their surrogacy journeys and are always happy to discuss any questions and concerns you may have.