A surrogacy journey is rewarding for the both the intended parents (they are finally holding the baby they’ve been waiting for in their arms!), as well as the surrogate mother (she is helping create a family!). And while giving gifts to each other is not required, intended parents and surrogates may develop a deep bond and wish to commemorate milestones of their surrogacy journey with small tokens of appreciation. Giving gifts for IPs is by no means necessary, but we’ve provided some fun ideas for those that would like to give a gift during or following their surrogacy journey.
Surrogates are already giving the ultimate gift of parenthood, but what are some other gifts she can give to her intended parents that signify their relationship and mark the momentous milestones of their journey?
When is the right time to give intended parents a gift?
Because a surrogacy journey can last anywhere from 14-22 months, there are many opportunities in which a surrogate can give her intended parents a gift (or gifts) along the way.
While a gift can be given or sent to intended parents at any time, some key milestones at which surrogates may choose to give parents a gift include:
Confirmation of heartbeat
20 week ultrasound
Although if the surrogate is close with her intended parents – both emotionally and geographically – she may find she doesn’t need a reason to give them a little something!
What types of gifts can surrogates give intended parents?
A photo frame is a wonderful gift that you can give at almost any time during the journey. A frame can be used for a photo of embryos from the transfer, an ultrasound photo, or a picture of the surrogate and her intended parents.
Surrogates have also had a frame engraved with the details of the baby’s birth – date, name, weight – after the birth.
Gifts made by hand and from the heart can be some of the most memorable. Surrogates who have special talents such as knitting or crocheting have created beautiful baby blankets or socks for their intended parents. If the surrogate is artistic, she may create a painting or screen print a cute onesie. Other handmade gifts could include:
Some surrogates choose to create gifts that are mementos of the entirety of the journey. This is a wonderful way to capture and share memories with intended parents, especially of moments during the surrogacy where they weren’t able to be present.
Journey remembrance gifts can include a scrapbook with letters and photos from the pregnancy; a memory box filled with sonograms, photos, medical bracelets and notes; or a photobook created with bump photos and ultrasound photos from throughout the journey. These are wonderful gifts to give parents at the end of the journey.
One way to help intended parents feel as if they were part of the pregnancy is to journal throughout the journey. A surrogate can keep a journal to record her thoughts, how she’s feeling, make note of pregnancy milestones, share what she was doing when she felt the first kick, describe how her relationship with her intended parents is developing, and even include a note to her intended parents to read post birth.
A “Practical” Baby Gift
Preparing for the arrival of a baby can be overwhelming – there’s so much to plan for and purchase. Some surrogates choose to give a practical gift to their intended parents, such as a baby monitor, bibs and diapers or a baby carrier. These are great gifts to either give in person at the 20 week ultrasound (if your intended parents are able to attend) or have shipped to their home. Some surrogates will even purchase a necessary item and have it shipped to HER house, so that it’s waiting for the intended parents when they arrive for the birth of their baby.
It is becoming more common for surrogates and their intended parents to do a photoshoot during pregnancy to commemorate the surrogacy journey. Some surrogates give this lovely gift to their intended parents before the 20 week ultrasound, and then have the photoshoot then, when they are together in the surrogate’s home town.
Another wonderful photoshoot gift is to hire a professional photographer for the birth of the baby, or for an infant photo session shortly after the intended parents return home.
Perhaps you’re looking for a gift that’s truly unique to the little surro baby you’re carrying for your intended parents. One surrogate shared that she gave her intended parents a customized night sky map of the stars on the night the baby was born.
Perhaps you’d like to commemorate the journey with jewelry for your intended mother. Some nice choices include a necklace with the birthstone of the baby, a necklace that says “Mama”, or even a necklace that has her baby’s heartbeat.
A great way to welcome your intended parents to your home state when the visit – and to give them a taste of the place where their unborn baby is being cared for – is to give them a gift basket with items local to your home. Depending on where you live, this could consist of famous local delicacies (such as special BBQ sauces or candy), books about your town, or items that represent your local culture. There are also a lot of options on Etsy to create a personalized gift! There are different shops that create apparel to represent your home state and the residence of your IPs like this cute onesie!
Presenting your intended parents with a gift is a nice way to commemorate your journey together, but by no means required…you are already giving them so much! But if you do want to find them something special, there are no rules! You know your intended parents and your journey the best, so anything you think of they will be sure to love!
If you’re considering learning more about becoming a surrogate, we’re happy to speak with you!